Building self-esteem

There is no right age, the seeds of self- worth is important to sow in infancy, and must be cultivated and encouraged to grow with age. Our children must learn to believe early on “I am a good and valuable person”. They must start to believe in themselves first before trusting their peers. This could not be accomplished by themselves without the parental help, support and patience. So dear parents, some tips might help you to protect your sanity while you protect your toddler’s self- esteem.

Let your love towards your kid be kind of “no- strings attached”:i.e. “I will love you no matter what”. They are tiny creatures that seek regular attention, they hate to be ignored. Talk to them, listen them and pay heed to their desires and needs (though, sometimes you can’t fulfil them). Let them feel, you are there for them whenever they are in need, never let them begin to doubt their worth.

Even they need space, so stop hovering over your kid and dishing out advices or suggestions before it’s been requested. This would squelch their self-motivation. They need to build confidence and self- satisfaction, that can be done with successfully meeting challenges. Let them attempt to discover answers to their own questions, play by themselves for some time, be independent.

Treat your kid like a valued person in family, this would help in building his self- esteem. Give his thoughts, desires and needs, an equal consideration and never belittled. For this, you as parent, be a role model of self -respect for your child, avoid denigrating yourself. Never show the self-destructive behavior or self-doubt in front of your child, show them respect by being there for them, its ok sometimes to leave your social life or work or your household chores, to be there for them when in need.

And stop comparing them to anybody else, to another toddler or sibling, playmates or classmates or your memory of yourself as a child, is unfair and unwise. Accept and appreciate the special individual your toddler is.

Validate your toddlers feeling. Try to teach him or her to express different emotions, anger or jealousy rather than criticizing or trying to stifle them, this might make them feel more comfortable and build up trust towards you.

You can distract them by assigning your “little helper chores around the house, they might feel more useful expressing confidence in their abilities. Boost them up, don’t erode your child’s efforts by criticizing even if they are slow or clumsy or more hindrance than actual help.

So, buckle -up-mommies and daddies, learn to take it slow, let your kid be on their own. Don’t barrage a child who’s taking great pains with a toothbrush or struggling to pull up a pair of tights with impatient choruses of “HURRY UP”. Let your pokey toddler poke, let them stand by themselves, let them make mistakes. As parents take turns, spending time with your kid, don’t let one parent bear all mess ups, it will be then frustrating. Stop finding faults, it can undermine their self-esteem. Cheer yourself and cheer them up, after all, happy parents can only raise happy, confident and independent kids.!!!