Its important for my kid to know, nobody’s perfect. To the loving eyes of a small child, it seems that his larger-than-life parents are always right, can do anything and are always right, for him we are perfect!! But as a parent we know that this perception is only illusion. Even the best ones have faults, imperfections, so no one is absolutely perfect. And its best for our kid, if they learn this early on. Because if they are taught anyone can make mistake, though their teacher or a grandparent or even a parent, they might feel free to grow up, trying to do their best and may be ready to take calculated risk in future life without fearing failure.
So, parents, please don’t demand perfection in your child. Expecting more than he deliver, may be discouraging or daunting for his self-esteem. Expectations about their behavior or skills must be age appropriate and tailored to your child’s temperament and abilities. Just keep a pace with them, so that they don’t fear taking risks and meet challenges.
Secondly, avoid demanding perfections in others. Imperfections should be acceptable, in your spouse or in people working around you or even people around at public places. Obviously, constant sloppiness or rudeness is unacceptable but practicing patience and tolerance, make our kids realize, that even the best of us slips up or it’s okay to have a bad day occasionally.
Try not to hide your mistakes from your toddler, they are constantly learning and imitating you. Its important for them to see that we, even as parents aren’t infallible and are willing to admit. So, in situations you lose your temper or forget to buy your child’s favorite fruit, apologize and show your concern rather than ignoring.
Never demand perfections in yourself. There is no thing as “perfect parents”, we are humans, forgive yourself when you fail to live up your own expectations. Learn from your mistakes, admit them and better to move on.
Forgive your child’s mistakes completely. Don’t repeatedly remind him of his wrong deeds or consequences he had to face due to them. Provide unconditional acceptance. Never withdraw love (or pretend to) and practice “art of comforting hugs” even if your child’s achievements fall short or for any reason. Seldom, losing your cool over messy or destructive mistakes is only human. Make sure your toddler knows that your love never wavers off, no matter what!!even if your temper does sometimes…
So, buckle up parents…don’t live in fear that if you don’t require perfection in them, they will lower their performance or your expectations. Children who are left to make mistakes, or who are not pressurized to be perfect, often perform at higher levels than those who are always worried about the need to achieve high goals of perfection. Let them free to take risks, it may build up their self-confidence, they grow up feeling better for themselves and less likely to suffer self-doubt. They are kids anyway, even they need time to make their own discoveries, likes and dislikes!!